Writing from my Coconut

Writing, oh the love for writing I have... Just another post to add to my hodgepodge of ideas and thoughts I have rattling around in my coconut. I was very ecstatic when I first heard Mr. Sutherland talk about the blogs in the beginning of the year, and I'm still enraptured by it. The blogs have really helped me with my writing and I have come to love writing as a whole. The ability to express how you feel, and to be able to put your thoughts onto paper to give others a glimpse into your imagination is phenomenal take for instance, a gigantic purple spotted dragon with gleaming white teeth and glossy hazel eyes, that emanate a radiance of goodness. Soaring through a dark star lit sky lined with with silver clouds and a gusty wind. I know this may sound weird but I really do love words, they express, they teach and they most importantly tell stories. 

It's funny how easily things flow now. By flow I mean the easiness of gliding my pencil against my paper without taking an hour or sometimes more of sitting at my dining room table staring at a blank piece of paper thinking,"What the hell should I write about now." The old memories of writers block, I honestly have to say was kinda tragic. I remember almost being in tears because I would feel like such a failure. Right before you start laughing you should now I'm just a bit dramatic. So I would try all the possible ways to push away that huge eraser in my head by making graphs and charts, thinking of a topic, and honestly even remembering dreams. I overcame it using Mr. Sutherland theory of constant writing that would ease the flow of our chicken scratch truthfully did work! 

I have been blown away by my own writing, I'm not trying to sound egotistical, but I am proud of my improvement. When I first started this assignment I was reading over all of my old posts and I had some rough spots. It must have been me growing a little tired of blogging for the time being. Then I came across my favorite The Darkness of My Tears:

"I walked down the broken road feeling the piercing cold snowy weather hit me like a thousand knives. My family was no where to be found it was as though they had vanished without a single goodbye. I started sobbing feeling the impact of true loneliness. The wind knocked my fragile and fatigue body to the ground with incredible force, I covered my head feeling the impact as I hit the hard ice. I tried to lift my weight up feeling so vulnerable and weak. I had barely enough strength, I felt the warm tears stream down my face mostly from the frustration and confusion. I rubbed my hands together feeling the numbness at my fingertips. Suddenly I saw a thick liquid running down my palms, wedging itself into the crevices of my swollen hands." 

Writing so much really did show my strengths and the topics that come most easily to me. Descriptive writing and being imaginative, is my favorite writing. Using words to tell a story and making the reader feel like they are their in the action of where the story is taking place. Using illustrative and vivid words, to make you're writing come to life. It really takes a blow on me and makes me feel all romantic whenever I'm writing. Now for my weaknesses, I have struggles who doesn't? Whenever we would have to write on the topic of current events every week I would always leave that post for last. Current Events writing really does feel like homework, I would always feel like it was such a bore and I would just have to trudge through the chore of doing it. That shows I could never work for the newspaper. 

I hope that my writing strengthens rather then weakens. This semester was very productive and I learned a lot about my own styles in writing. Now I know what I have to work on because there is always room for improvement. Goodbye writers block I will try to stay away from you.

Deffered dreams are almost always forgotten. We sometimes end up with new dreams that replace that old dream or we just move on and leave are dreams in the shadows forvever. I think that is what most people of are generation do, when they are younger they have DREAMS. Dreams of becoming a pilot, a dancer or even a doctor anything is possible. Then as we get older we end up never pursuing them and we go through life never accomplishing what we wanted in the first place. It is sad because I know my parents have had dreams yet they had to put them on hold when I came into their life. They always tell me all of their dreams and what they wanted to be, but they just let time pass by and never thought about pursuing their dreams again... They tell me everyday to work hard so I can have my dreams become a reality. I know that if instead of putting everything aside and letting my dreams crumble into a forgotten pile of nothing, that I should have my dreams in front of me all the time. If I work hard enough I know I can become that beautiful ballet dancer I have always dreamed of  being. My dream should be a guide for me not just a fantasy that i wish my life could be like but something that will happen. I promised my own self that I will never forget my dreams, they will become a reality if I believe in myself.

'

Friendship never last forever.

I actually disagree with Laura, I think Friendship and the love of family are the only two things on this earth that have never ending and eternal love. I think having a friend who will listen to your problems, cry with you, laugh with you, and just be there for you in general will always be someone who will last forever in your life. Of course there's going to be some duds, but I think you know for sure who will always have your back no matter what.                                                                                                                                                                                                         When you meet someone who really wants to be in your life, you both will know that your friendship will last forever. I hate how some girls act like they are best friends yet they talk a whole bunch of mess when their backs are turned. They forgive, yet they still do the same stuff all over again. I just want people to understand that there are certain people in this world that cause problems and start a whole bunch of drama for people. It frustrates me, and I know by my better judgement who my REAL friends are. There are only a few but at least I know that they will always be their while my other "friends" will end up never caring what ever happens to me.

Everyone is struggling, its as if our world today is going to have a taste of The Great Depression all over again. That time era was known to be a horrid period where people had no jobs, homes nor food to eat. What would happen if The United States went into this grand problem again? People are already losing their jobs, living on the streets, and begging for food and money on the sides of the highway. I bet that is such a scary situation to be in, and its possible that we will all end up in the same exact situation. It upset me when certain people didn't take this topic seriously because the economy's downfall will effect all of us once we are out of high school and no longer taken care of by are parents. We will be the future people who inhabit the U.S and we will be the ones who vote on important decisions for our country. We may think that this is something that is so insignificant or the least of our worries, but I'm sure it will be the first on the list of your worries in two years. When we are not able to pay for college so you can get an education for a high paying and steady job. Or when you are not able to qualify for a loan, for a car or even a home. When we you are still living in your parents homes past the age of eighteen because you are not able to pay for the expenses of living alone. That is why we must understand and take everything thats happening to others in this time seriously so we will be prepared.

Why does everything great have to end so abruptly? Unfortunately there is no such thing as forever... That is a lesson everyone will learn. Like when I got my first can of coca-cola when I was seven I chugged that whole thing, I then went for another sip... And there was no more.. I peeked through the small opening in the can searching for some more of its fizzling goodness. Asked for some more but mom didn't want me bouncing of the walls... No more. Not only did I learn that nothing lasts forever, but also to enjoy everything while it lasts. That's what many hard working people have not realized, and they have just seen their youth fly right pass them. Enjoy life. Its short. I don't think we were put on this earth to stress and worry about small insignificant things, but to enjoy small things. Like the sun, flowers, a clear half full glass of water with a lemon on the rim, the relaxing sound of rain tapping against your bedroom window, family and the most important one smiles. I sure as hell have never met a smiling face that wasn't beautiful. The more I grow the less smiles I see... it reminds me to enjoy life because I most definitely want to die knowing I lived my life to the fullest. Everyday I see my parents coming home from work exhausted working six days a week from six in the morning to nine in the afternoon. It really upsets me, but I know these times are hard and overworking is what we have to do to survive. Thats what are world has molded into your born, you study, work and then you die.

"Have you ever been in a bad place where you dont wanna do anything or be with anyone? All you wanna do is just sit down and just sit nothing else you feel like your world is coming to an end."- Michael Hullihan

 When I read Michael's post it actually related so much to what I'm feeling inside right now. All I wanna do is sit down alone in my room and reminisce on the past, listen to my depressing songs and cry myself to sleep without anyone asking me if "I'm okay" every two-seconds. It's hard when the one thing that was most important to you is taken away making it the hardest thing to recover from. It's kinda funny how we would rather dwell on things rather than forget. Forgetting something that was once important seems wrong to me. So I don't know... I just think it would be unfair to forget memories that were once precious. That only makes it harder for us to move on. I'm tired of faking a smile, because I actually do feel like my world is coming to an end. Everything inside just feels so unenergized, all you feel is your cold blood running slowly through your veins. Everything is blocked out nothing else is important anymore. All you feel and think of is all what went wrong in the past.  I hope that sooner or later I will learn how to get over things more quickly than I do now. Nothing is easy, depression is something that we all face. No matter what age. It's not the best situation to find yourself in. But sooner or later I know it will pass and I will actually have something in my life to smile about again. Maybe that reason to smile will come sooner than I expect maybe in a week, or a month, hopefully tomorrow.

Fictional Story:

He clenched onto her and threw her onto the white tiled floor, like an unwanted rag doll. I watched through the small opening of my door. I synchronized my sobs with my mothers feeling her pain. I could no longer see him treat her this way, it was not fair that he had to take out his anger on her. I could no longer resist my tears. I felt like I was disintegrating on the inside. My heart started pounding furiously and I felt my sweat trace the outline of my face. My knees felt weak, nothing could hold me up. I grabbed onto the black handle of my door trying to force my legs to lift me off the piercing cold floor. I heard my mothers distant sobs, I felt the fear I had inside float away, that fear had turned to anger. Anger towards the man who had caused this pain. No one should ever be the cause of my mothers tears, especially her own husband. I pushed my palms against the floor and forced myself up. I abruptly pushed my door open with a swiftness. I felt the hot blood run from my head down to my toes. Nothing was going to scare me away this time. I needed to confront him, I had seen to much. I yelled in a broken voice "STOP!" He looked over his shoulder and ran over to me I tried standing just as tall as he did. I puffed out my chest and stood on the balls of my feet. He put his face to mine yelling vulgar things in his imperfect Spanish, his saliva splattering on my skin with every word he spoke. I quenched my eyes shut and pushed him away from me. He grabbed my wrist and threw me to the ground. I buried my fingers into the thick carpet feeling an explosion of emotions arise inside my stomach, so many that I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt the tears coming again. He bent down onto his knees and I saw his hand slowly rise from his side, he  suddenly slapped my face with his rigid hands. I felt the warmth from the impact on my cheek.  I promised myself I wouldn't cry I said to myself. I stared at him in his pitch black and emotionless eyes. I closed mine, I stood up and promised myself that I will never treat my children the way he treated me. Now I will know how to love